I was at a counseling session sometime back dealing with the issue of forgiveness towards my father, when my counselor said: ” Dasha, God picked your father for you, what do you think about that?”. Immediately I was short of breath, I could not believe the amount of anger that stirred up inside of me from hearing these words. I wanted to close my ears, and run away, I wished I had never heard her say that. I realized I was so angry at God and simultaneously I felt that my relationship with Jesus is now ruined forever…How could God do this to me? Why was he so cruel. Why would he give me a dad who caused much of my childhood trauma and then abandoned me as a teenager? Why did my friends have better dads? What did I do to deserve this?
She then asked me, what are you thinking about? How do you feel? I told her that I cannot believe God would do that to me and that my whole life I did not think of God being ever responsible for my pain. At that moment, the scariest thing for me was an intense feeling of torn relationship and trust between me and God. Going back, I became a believer at 18 years old following my parents divorce, my drug addiction and reckless lifestyle. God rescued me from self destruction and gave me a new, happy life. He truly set my feet on the right path. I trusted God from day 1 of my salvation, thanked Him and He was the only one I had clean record of a relationship with. He was the only one I trusted. He still is! But at that moment I became so fearful that now God too will abandon me because I got angry at Him.
My counselor then asked me to tell God how I feel… what do you mean? I said, I can tell Him that I am angry at Him? Yes, of corse – He is your Father and He wants you to be honest with Him about your feelings. It was hard for me to make the words come out of my mouth, but I did it – I told Him that I am angry with Him for picking my father. Immediately I felt relief, as if God was hugging me and a sense of peace came over me. I felt God say to me: ” Thank you for coming to me with this, thank you for opening up to me, you mean the World to me and I have never -ever done anything to hurt you or cause you harm. I have always been by your side, since before you were born, comforting you and protecting you. I am not the one that caused your dad act the way he did…trust me”. I began to cry rivers of tears and at the same time I let out a deep breath and received a sense of peace and reconciliation of my relationship with God. I feel that this experience made us closer and now I can come to Him with ANYTHING, even when my emotions are against Him. I can be myself with God, telling Him exactly how I feel and letting Him shine the truth on hard and tricky life situations. In my experience, coming to God with my anger towards Him set me free to a deeper trust and relationship with my Heavenly Father. I did ask God for forgiveness for my anger and false accusations I had against Him and He gladly forgave me. Forgiveness in life is the most beautiful gift – it is amazing how quickly a relationship can come back to life when you simply ask for forgiveness. Having un-forgiveness towards God can truly destroy your life at the root, setting you up for failure.
Why do people get angry at God..
In my opinion due to the lies of the enemy. I believe it is satan’s biggest assignment to set people against God. He comes in a mask, appearing as your father, blaming things on God, when in reality he is the one behind any destruction. Bible says that “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” John 10:10. In view of this, I know that anything destructive in my life is NOT caused by Jesus. When the fall of man happened (more on that in Genesis 3) the enemy got the right to rule over this Earth and attack people with his assignments. Anything broken, lacking, painful, and chaotic in your life is the autograph of the enemy. The moment you believe any of that is sent to you by God as punishment or for any other reason, you let yourself believe in the lie of the enemy and you separate yourself from God ( God never departs from you, but you can take a step back!). Many people, including myself have made a mistake of blaming God for what God DID NOT do in their lives. Even when you accept Christ as your savior you must discern if the enemy is attacking you and act accordingly.
But what about Job you say? Why did God allow the satan to torment Job? He did not! The enemy already had a right to do so due to the fall of man, therefore God did not need to give him permission to torment Job. The truth is, we will all get attacked by the enemy while we live here on Earth, but we MUST learn to discern when the attack is happening and we MUST know the truth about God – He came to save us, to give us abundant life and to love us endlessly. Today is the day you can take authority over the blame you put on God for horrible things the enemy caused in your life and be set free. Just like in my life this will cause deeper relationship with God, peace freedom and joy.
I bless you in Jesus name with higher sense of discernment in your life. I bless you to know the difference between things that are of God and that are of the enemy in your life. I bless you to reconcile with God and I bless you to learn how to open up to God about all your feelings. If you need a prayer or are struggling with this, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I would love to pray with you!
If you want to pray on your own, here is a sample prayer for you! God bless you!
Dear Jesus, I feel angry at you. I have blamed you for ____, ______ and _______. I now know that the enemy has tricked me into thinking that you were the one that caused this in my life. Please forgive me for my anger towards you and for turning away. I want to reconcile my relationship with you and welcome you back into my life and my heart. Thank you for your forgiveness and love towards me. Please help me discern your works from the works of the enemy in my life. I pray for protection over myself and my family, in Jesus name. Amen.